Names again

So I know I need a real entry but I'm on my phone ready to go to bed so it's not gonna be tonight. Just can't get two names out of my mind.
One is Emmalin which I actually prefer spelling it that way since I hate Ys but anyway I love it. No one in mt family likes it. Vinnie loves it too but is it too made up? It doesn't sound made up to ne because it sounds like Evelyn. I could t name a child that while we are still in the army life bc I know I'd get rolled eyes from army wives. I love the nicknames Em and Emmy, I get so excited when I hear this name on Army Wives, seems likes it's very hated in the baby naming community for some reason, I guess it's considered a made up name, which I don't usually like, but this one I really like. Oh and another small problem is that I have a niece named Emily.

The second name is Caroline. I just love thus name for some reason. I mean I really do. If I went with Caroline Elizabeth it sounds a lot like my sisters name (Carrie Elizabeth ). I'm a little worried that there aren't any good nicknames for Caroline. I don't like Carol, but I suppose care-bear or linny would be ok with me.

I still love Elizabeth as a first name but I'm worried I'll end up calling her lizbeth or Liz just bc it comes natural with that name but I do t like it. I think I'd want to call her lilibeth even though I know it's weird.

Opinions?

Feeling crazy again.

I know I made the decision to stay home because it just hurt my brain to try to think about how in the world I'd ever get a teaching jump with zero experience in a place where I have no connections. I am pretty sure, if I were back home I would be teaching. I probably would have stayed home with Abigail for the first year or so, but I think I would be teaching. I know I enjoyed student teaching, but obviously I've never had my own class. I don't even know if I'd like it and I am sitting here and waiting for a day that may never come where I am teaching and maybe I will hate it. I know I will not make enough money teaching so Vinnie could stay home, unless we lived at my house (which can get a little nutty).

It's just to hard to try to plan for the future. I can't just go look for a job, it doesn't work like that. I wouldn't want to work in an unfamiliar area, I know that sounds like an excuse, but it's true. You know when they ask in an interview why you want to work in that district? I want to actually have an answer. I really want to work for Valpo Community Schools (where I student taught). I liked the school system there. Hobart is a little too nutty for me, but maybe I could make a difference there....doubt it. My sister works her booty off and gets no respect for it.

I want to work, I want to teach, just not here, I want to teach back home. Could I leave Abigail? That I'm not sure of. I know if a had a family member watching her I would have no issue at all, but I don't think I could ever use my family as a daycare, that's not their job. I don't know if I could just drop Abigail off somewhere, I really don't think I could. So, there's that. Maybe my sister can have a baby and I can take her job (even though it's in Hobart) and she can watch Abigail for me, or we could job share..... Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! This sucks.

Sometimes I just start crying and getting upset for no reason. I don't have a horrible life, but a lot of times I think it's not really for me, this whole SAHM, I'm trying really hard to be good at it, but I can't help feeling like it's a degrading job, constantly cleaning up after everyone, doing everyone's dirty work... I don't know. Well, enough whining, there are no jobs back home anyway even if I wanted to pursue it and I wouldn't know when Vinnie would be getting out, so it's worthless to even look into. It seems like the Army gets you in and then you are kinda stuck because you don't want to give up what you have and risk it out there in this economy.

Sigh,
Well, maybe I'll write more later.

I love it again...

so now I totally love the name Theodore again :) I hope it doesn't somehow get super duper popular since that is one reason I love it so much, it's not way out there crazy but still sort of uncommon. Well, I just thought I'd share that I love it again. I think if we do get to have a boy (my little Teddy) I'm going to deck everything out in Teddy Bears! haha I'm a geek like that. Ok, well, I'll stop bringing everyone into my baby fever. Everyone is having babies and pregnant right now! And all the shows and movies with babies..man oh man. It makes me really feel for baby loss mommies, daddies and those who have trouble or cannot get pregnant, when you really start to notice all the babiness everywhere wow, it's nuts, it must be constant heartache for them :(

Well, I guess, I'll go, I'm super bored, Abigail went to bed nicely, I guess bc she didn't nap and the hubs is gone, he may be back at midnight, so, I got nothin to do.

alrighty, byebye

Still not totally decided...

I know I shouldn't even think about names until there is another baby in our arms, but you all know I'm crazy, so I'm allowed to go nuts over it. I'm still super excited about the name Theodore, I worry about it a little, but I still really love it. I'm not really liking Theo and not a super huge fan of Theo and Theodore as an everyday name seems kinda uppity. I know even though I would think it was weird if someone else did it, that I would totally call him Teddy as a baby and probably a little guy. BUt, I wouldn't want him to have to grow up with that being his name, kinda weird for a teen and young man, but I suppose Teddy Roosevelt pulled it off right?

I think my problem is I am still not over the name Eli. I don't think I ever will be. I love love love that name so freakin much. But this little guy has the name and so I guess we can't have it. He is stinkin cute isn't he? This picture with the awesome name on his little apron makes me want the name so much more! Well, that's all I have to say...

Yep

Again, a very exciting title I know, but that's just how I'm feeling. Well, i was supposed to weigh myself today, but as the day went on I figured there was no point other than to be accountable to the internet world, but I think i ate worse this week than I have in a while.

Just kinda frustrated, but can't complain yet. It's only been a couple of months of trying for baby time, but I can't help but get nervous that it will never happen again. Ugh... well, here's to another month and with Vinnie being in the field it may not be a good one.

Anyway, ordered my book, and a xylophone (technically a glockenspiel) for Abigail today, so I'm excited about that. Haven't gotten much sleep this week but we all know it's my own fault.

Not sure what I'm gonna do tomorrow, I should do something super fun, or cool, but that won't happen I'm sure. Well, like I said, nothing interesting, so I suppose I'll go!

Made Dinner Again

I made dinner again tonight, nothing really picture worthy, but it was good

Apparently left over French Dip was the talk of lunch time in B Co, haha.

Nothing much else goin on. Super tired right now need to sleep. I need to get caught up on printing out pictures of Abigail. I haven't printed any since before Vinnie came home! I have so many to print! I need to do it, I like having real pictures around.

I also need to figure out this teeth thing. It just involved phone calls and so that makes me really not want to deal with it. I sent out an email, but heard nothing back, so I guess I just need to suck it up.

Umm, so moving forward with this Montessori type parenting. I am going to order that book tomorrow. I'd like to get two more shelves for Abigail downstairs and start working on a music/art center, complete her language/literacy center and create a math/sensory center. I think it will be great. I really need to keep working with her on practical life things as well, but she is still a little baby to me so it's hard for me to let her grow up and show her how to do things for herself, even though I get very proud when she does anything herself, I get a little sad that she isn't a baby anymore in many ways :(

Well, I am dead tired, but now that I've gotten out the computer I think I have doomed myself. Vinnie is going to the field and so not sure how much more I will see him this week/weekend/next week. Alrighty, time to go. Byebye

Oh, I guess I weigh in tomorrow, don't expect any weight loss, probably a gain!

French Dip and Sloppy Joe

Made French dip sandwiches tonight.

Ingredients

• 4 pounds rump roast (don't think I used 4lbs, just whatever you get at the store)
  
• 1 (10.5 ounce) can beef broth
• 1 (10.5 ounce) can condensed French onion soup
• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle beer
• French rolls
• 2 tablespoons minced garlic
• Provolone cheese
  

Directions

1. Trim excess fat from the rump roast, and place in a slow cooker. Add the beef broth, onion soup and beer. Cook on Low setting for 7 hours.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
3. Split French rolls, put cheese on rolls. Bake 10 minutes, or until heated through.
4. Slice the meat on the diagonal, and place on the rolls. Serve the sauce for dipping.

Last week I made Sloppy Joes, no Manwich here baby.

Ingredients:

• 1 lbs ground beef
• 1 can diced tomato in tomato juice (or one can tomato soup)
• 1/2 cup ketchup
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• You could also add some chopped onion, I used onion powder
• 2 buns
  

Directions:

1. Cook in crock pot 4-6 hours mix in all ingredients.