Getting ready

Well, I haven't gotten any official word, but I also didn't get a phone call from Vin which is actually a good sign, he may be on the move.

So, I decided to go clean crazy today and I got a lot done, this house looks awesome. I had to flea bomb it again, I hope it works this time, I hate fleas and they love me. If they don't leave me alone this time I'm going to have to get a pro.

Well, I'm actually pretty tired, I was going to write more, but I still need to eat din din. Ok bye bye!

53 weeks

This is starting to get cruel. I do realize of course things could be worse, and people have had it worse (3 month extension for example, my brother being one of those), but usually people are aware of the 3 month extension well in advance and you just accept it. Well, today mark 53 weeks since my husband left for Afghanistan. Is it wrong to be jealous and even slightly angry everytime I get an email about homecomings and see names of people who left well after my husband? He left with the first main body and I cannot believe he is still there, they've had like 9 main bodies come home already. People who only did half deployments are already coming home and people who left in August are already home.

I am jealous and this blog is mostly a jealous rage!

And no offense to single soldiers, but shouldn't soldiers with wives and children come home first? I mean, my husband left one month before Abigail was born and came home for R and R when she was a month old for 2 weeks. I found out some guys got to come home for the birth for E-leave and THEN also got 2 weeks R and R later on, ugh. Last time he saw her she was just a little tiny baby and now she is ready to walk and I'm trying to keep her from walking so he can see it, and then he gets pushed back... It has been 10 months since I have even seen my husband, other guys haven't even deployed for that long AND they got R and R, AND they are coming home before my hubby! Those guys should have to wait, sorry, I know I shouldn't say that, but this is a blog and I'm allowed to write how I feel, right?

Anyway, I'm hoping that if I complain and just expect him not to be home for awhile, then I will finally get the call that he's coming.

Well, I am done for now, maybe I'll get the call tonight?
-

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Ok, so I'm not even one to talk because I know I didn't think about these things while I was pregnant, but I have become aware and now I have to make other aware. If you are pregnant, or have had a healthy baby, please cherish it! There are people around you all the time who either cannot get pregnant or are angel mommies, they would give anything to be in your shoes no mater how tough it is. I'm not direction this at one person in particular, it's just been bothering me. I see these shows on TV and I can't believe some of these people! The worst show, which i don't watch, but I know it's out there is called something like, "Pregnant and..." and that is usually followed by "in jail" or "on meth" Should these shows even be on TV? I understand it's reality and blah blah blah, but it's horrific. There are people out there who do everything perfect by the book and lose their babies and then you have these pyschos who have perfectly fine babies, maybe they have some withdrawl but the babies survive and these people get to be mothers! Another show is "I didn't know I was pregnant" I have to admit, when i first saw the show I thought it was funny, I mean how can you not know you're pregnant? I guess I "might" understand some of the very obese girls or the lady who had her tubes tied, but otherwise come on, give me a break. Anyway, 9 out of 10 times these ladies have perfectly healthy babies, and they didn't even know they were pregnant. It's ridiculous, I mean, all the worrying and careful measures that pregnant women go through and some of those women tragically lose their precious babies and these people smoke, drink, do whatever they want and oh whoops I just had a healthy baby! Other shows about multiples also make me angry, not at the people, just the situation in general, and I know the ones on TV are the ones who have happy ending and tragically most multiple births don't turn out that way, but these people have 6 babies and they all end up fine?!? Come on! Finally, my guilty pleasure, 16 and pregnant, I'm back and forth on this show, but usually I'm ok with it. Today Abigail decided to put on MTV and I was too lazy to change it and they had a marathon of sorts. Well, I saw one episode from last season that now almost makes me want to puke, I mean before when I saw this part in the episode I just kept it as a mental note (I was pregnant at the time) I was telling my friend about it when we were talking about her baby girl not too long ago, but actually seeing the episode again made me want to cry. Nothing the parents did or anything, just the situation, she went in fr her 39 week checkup and the doctor was going through those same ol questions that they go through those last few weeks and she asked "and baby's moving good?" and she said something like "not as much as before" and the doctor said "the baby should keep about the same level of activity all the way to birth" so she had her hooked up to a NST and another doctor came in and said he didn't like the way the baby was responding so they were going to induce labor. She ended up having a c-section and the baby actually ended up having a genetic liver problem (not sure if it's related) but anyway, why does that whole scene make me ill? My friend knows why, and I'll just leave it there, but it's similar to the reasons that the shows where babies are delivered before 37 weeks make my stomach hurt, I just get this ache in my heart, not for me but for my friend and all others who lost their beautiful babies. Man, this post is a debbie downer, but I had to get it out. I'm debating whether or not to put it on facebook to remind all my preggo friends out there to suck it up and cherish it. grrrr.....

-Friend, I really hope this post is not upsetting, I have no intention of upsetting you or make you questions yourself, your doctors or anything, I know you can't go back or change anything that happened, just know I think about you, your husband and your little one everyday and well, i just want you to know that.

Getting there....

So I was happily reminded this week that there is an end to this deployment, and it is coming...eventually, I just have to be patient. Happily my friend's husband is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for her, even though I know the homecoming is bitter sweet in a way, he is home and at least that is one thing she doesn't have to worry about anymore.

Even though i am so freakin happy for my friend, it makes me very anxious and impatient for my husband's return. I just wish he would have been on the same flight, he leave about a week and a half after her husband, but it looks like he'll go over the year mark by a few days :( But, I guess I can look at it on the positive side, it's not a 15 month deployment, so that's good. I just have to keep telling myself he's coming eventually.

The weather has been f-ing awesome this week. I am so happy, I hope it is really nice when Vinnie comes home, I want him to really be able to enjoy himself.

so, I'm gonna do some bashing for a minute, just to get it off my chest. A girl I know from high school is out here in Washington, her husband is Army. They got a compassion reassignment to here so their son can have better care. That's all fine and well. Then, she starts talking about how he hasn't deployed and has been in for 4 years! are you kidding me? That's crazy! His unit out at Ft. Drum deployed, but he got out of it. she said she called the governor and shiz! I mean, really? Do your f-ing duty, you signed up for this, at a time of war it means you go to war, that's just the way it is. The only people allowed to complain are those doing multiple deployments bc there are f-ing guys out there who haven't done one and people who have done 5! Ridiculous. That isn't even what peeves me though. So, they come out here with the assumption that he won't deploy for a year bc of the CA, well, apparently that's not how it works and he is going to deploy in October, I understand being upset I guess, but if they would have done their homework they would have known this and not expected to get out of it. Anyway, deployments suck, I know it, but don't complain if you've had 4 consecutive non-deployment years together, don't think your situation is special and you deserve special treatment. People deploy under not-ideal circumstances all the time! Vinnie left a month before his baby was due, don't you think he would have liked to stick around? In fact, some guy in the Brigade called around and got a delay in his deployment so he could be there for the birth of his baby (same day as Abigail), I know Vinnie probably could have called around and tried getting a delay, but really, we knew he had to go and what kind of example would he set for his soldiers if he stayed behind? He realized his situation is not special, plenty of wives have babies while their husbands are gone. Also, my friend had a tragedy during this deployment happen to her family, did they let her husband stay behind? No. He did his job, as hard and difficult as it was, the unit wasn't very compassionate or understanding and their situation actually was not typical and things should have been handled differently, but he left because it was his job and this was his 3rd deployment. Yet, we got little whiny boy who I know is at home whining about having to deploy. grrrr. I hate to rag on people, but sometimes, it is needed.

Sorry again. I really am not usually bad like that, but when I think of all the people who go through deployments when circumstances are not ideal and do it multiple times and then you have people who whine because they have to go once after 4 years of service? Ok, I'll go now before I really start looking nasty. I know as an officer's wife i should write like this about people. Good thing only one other person reads this! haha

Accomplished!

Wow, today has been a big day even though it started out pretty lazy. I got up super early because of my in house alarm, Abigail. But, that was ok, I got up and she had breakfast, I had breakfast, took the dogs out, fed and watered them. Then, Abigail was lookin sleepy so I put her down for a nap and in about 30 minutes she finally fell asleep, but she took a pretty good nap and so did I.

I was feelin so good I decided I'd brave pay day and make a trip to Wally World for groceries and misc. items. So, we went. I had Abigail in the baby carrier bc I knew I'd need the whole cart to shop. She did really awesome, I was so happy. After shopping I stopped to pick up some Micky D's on the way home. Got home, gave Abigail a snack and brought in all the stuff via laundry baskets. Then, I ate lunch, fed Abigail lunch and put away all the groceries.

Then, I decided to try to finish up hanging things in the office. We have a ton of stuff, all this White sox stuff, but now, it is all hung up, I also put the posters up in the guest bathroom. Even though I eyeball stuff and measure nothing, everything looks pretty good.

Abigail was in a good mood and it was super nice outside, so me and Abigail went to the park. First, I had her sit with me while swinging, which is what we usually do, but I thought maybe she's ready for the baby swing. I put her in it and she was soo excited, it was so cute.

I got home and played with the dogs for a little while and did some laundry and the dishes. I put laundry and dishes away and vacuumed and cleaned. I cleaned abigail's carseat and high chair.

I gave abigail dinner, gave her a bath and then put her to bed. Then, i went through all our bills, paperwork and all that stuff and organized it and filed some things away.

I just took the dogs out again, fed and watered . I then cleaned up all their poo outside, three dogs = a lot of poo. and now i am ready to eat my dinner. What a day, what a day.

I forgot to add that I watched the US world cup game and the white sox game. Freakin awesome. Too bad the US goal didn't count and no one knows why, but they still had an awesome comeback and the white sox pulled out an extra inning victory!

Social Butterfly

who'd a thunk? Me a socialite! ha, I laugh at this. But, no, it is true, the last couple weeks I have been very social, you all would be so proud! a couple nights ago I organized a screening of Drop Dead Diva and Army Wives with pretty good success. Today I organized a lunch that also worked out well and had a friend over for some good ole John Adams! Now, this seems maybe normal to most folk, they have friends, they hang out with these friends, but not for me. I didn't have a friend in college until late and we did get together a couple of times. I was very grateful for her because without her I'd have left IU with having made no real friends, sigh. I mean I had a roommate freshman year, yes, I lived with someone and we never even talked. We got along, didn't fight or anything, but we weren't friends, weird I think, but that's just how I am I guess. Maybe it's because Army wives just get it, they know you don't have forever to build this friendship so you need to just dive into it because you will want these people when the boys are gone, and during the day when they are here or if you have questions about stuff. I have also learned that Army wives don't let you down. I have tried organizing things with "friends" in the past, but they either don't give a straight answer, like they'll say "might" a lot, or they just flake out and don't see it as a big deal. But, army wives have been different, if I say, hey we should have lunch, the next response is something like, "well, I'm free tomorrow" instead of "yeah we should" That's what i've needed apparently, people to just take initiative. I am so happy I have found some people who do. I hope no matter what base I end up at I can find friends like these. It's funny, some of these ladies I've only met twice yet, I can call them friends, there are people I know for years that I don't feel comfortable using that word.

These last couple weeks have taught me one thing for sure. I think I may have been able to handle staying in washington for the deployment. Yes, it would have been hard at times, but I think I could have done it. I am glad I went home, and we now have a freakin awesome house so, I'm not complaining. Well, that's all for now!

Stop complaining!

so I've always been a whiner, a complainer, whatever you want to call it. I mean, if I watch videos of me as a little girl I just whine whine whine, and I still do today. I'd like to think I'm not as bad as I was, or at least I'm trying to be better.

I complain about my dogs, a lot, but they really do stress me out. I know the only way to make things better is to not have so many, but I also can't bring myself to getting rid of any :( I think the only way it would work is if someone in my family would take them, then I know they'd be cared for and I'd still be able to see them. But, I also know if I'm not going to do anything about it, I should stop complaining. I know it drives Vinnie mad, for one he isn't here so he can't fix the problem and for two I won't fix the problem, so it's just craziness. It seems like everyday I have a new adventure with them (not in a positive way), It's just so tiring.

The real point of this post was to talk about Abigail, which I have kind of avoided doing on this blog since there is only one person that reads this that I know of and I don't want to rub my baby in her face, but in this case I'm going to say some things. When Abigail was first born up until she was about 4 months old I complained, a lot, about her not sleeping, I mean she never, EVER slept, I am not making this up, I'm talking she'd do 2 hours max, a day, including the night. Anyway, it really stressed me out and I actually went crazy at one point (when she was about 2 months) which I could blame on the hormones I suppose. Anyway, to get back on track, I don't usually regret things I do or say because they happened and there isn't anyway to change it, but I regret that complaining, it was pointless, I was hit with the hard reality, through a friend, that I need to just count my blessings and stop the whining. I had been doing a good job with it, but found myself complaining again last night, to this friend... shame on me. I want this to be an apology for that, I am trying to avoid the whining, it honestly comes natural to me, and I am sorry for whining to you.

Anyway, I have been having a lot of fun in Washington since being back, only a few more weeks until Vinnie returns. I am going to try to stay on top of this blog a little bit better, maybe I'll get some followers? Ha, yeah right, I'd put it on facebook but I don't want my family reading it. I kinda want to use it as a place to complain about them, ha there I go again!