I know it's my own fault

So, I named this post the way I did because I think i'm gonna do a lot of whining and yes I know I could fix everything and it's my own fault. Anyway, so I love hanging out with Abigail everyday, I mean, she's tons of fun. I just feel like my whole life is waiting until 7pm so I can finally relax and then, oh yeah, I need to figure out something for dinner and then maybe we will watch a show while I am usually cleaning up dishes and kitchen after dinner and also cleaning up after hurricane Abigail, it's 9pm and Vinnie needs to go to bed so I didn't really get to just relax on the couch and watch some TV with the hubs.

So it's bedtime, Vinnie falls asleep in about 2 seconds and I'm stuck alone with nothing to do. I watch whatever crappy shows are on, maybe read part of a book but I'm completely exhausted and can't really focus, yet I can't fall asleep either. I usually get a up a few times and get a glass of milk. I get really hot and then really cold in bed, my neck hurts because of my stupid hair and can't get comfy at all in bed.
Then Vinnie's alarm goes off, he says bye bye and usually then I am able to sleep until my alarm (Abigail) goes off and we start again. My day consists of fighting with her over food and whether or not I should take the high chair down so she can play on it. Keeping her off the baby gate and stove, and keeping her from slamming her head on the table. Then she starts escaping out the doggie door so I had to duct tape it closed and remember to let Hoosier out. She starts to get tired so we do our naptime routine and I lay her down but she won't sleep. I make her stay up there for at least an hour anyway and in that time I try to eat some lunch and play around online. Then I have to go get her, I usually forget that I still am wearing what I wore to bed. Then about 2 hours later she is tired again and getting really crabby, so again we try to napptime routine. I swear my day consists of trying to get her to sleep, it drives me crazy. If she does nap she will wake up crazy and confused bc it will be dark out and she cries forever when I bring her downstairs so I have to whip out all my tricks of consoling her. Sometime in there she eats lunch and I gotta clean up her giant mess. Then I remember I am still in my clothes from last night and I really don't want to change but I realize Vinnie will be home in a couple hours and I probably should.
Yes my major milestone in the day is getting dressed. What an exciting life. I don't know what to do about it, I love being a mom, not sure if I was meant to be a SAHM, but who knows. I want to love it, I want to want to cook dinner and clean. It just sounds so terrible to me! It doesn't help that Vinnie always says he wishes he could stay home. Yeah, it'd be fun for a week, maybe even a month or too, but it gets real old real fast, like groundhog day or something. There are no vacations or days off EVER! Sometimes I just want to sleep until 12 or 1 but I don't have that choice it's always on me.

anyway, I love my husband and my baby more than anything in the whole world. they are wonderful! I just wish I didn't feel so crappy all the time and that I would actually be happy. I'm not sure how to make that happen, i think the last thing I'd want is a play group, parents and kids no thank you. I'm not sure. I really think i need to go to a gym, but you see how far that has gotten in the last 2 months...no where.

OT I have a dentist appt on the 21st, figured I need to get in there before a possible baby on board, my teeth are so f-ing sensitive I have to drink everything with a straw and can't eat anything cold. Sucks.

Oh and in case you were wondering Vinnie and I haven't really talked about Theodore yet, but I accidentally sent him a text about the name that was supposed to go to my sister and he just asked me about it, he didn't seem to hate it, but I was too scared to ask the big question. He brought up Jack in his usual casual way last night and I just said that i don't think there will be a baby Jack and he didn't say anything, so who knows. I feel bad that I have vetoed him. Anyway the names:

Elizabeth Lillian
Theodore Benjamin, Theodore Kevin, Theodore Christopher

Update on Best Name Ever!!!!!!!!!!!

So I got a response for my sister and she WAS recommending a name for me! haha YES! I'm so excited. Now comes the task of trying to get Vinnie to like it. He didn't give a nasty response when I mentioned it last night. Any tips?

Little Theo!!!!!!!!!!!
My teddy bear!
:)

Ahh I love a name!

So I've been up all night really pumped about a boys name. I know it's not everyones style and that's fine but I love it. Ok what is it you ask? Drum roll.........

THEODORE "Theo" for short

I love it! It means gift from God! How perfect! Only one problemo. Guess where I got it? My sister. She is thinking about trying for a baby in a few months so we've been sharing baby names back and forth and last night she said Theo and I fell hard for it and it's not mine! What to do? Maybe her sig nif will veto it? Maybe she was actually suggesting it to me and not saying it as her choice? The email was a little vague. Hmm I'm holding out hope. I havent felt thus excited about a boys name since Eli!

More name issues

Yes I'm crazy, yes i realize it. Anyway. I really don't think I will find a name I like better than Eli. I mean I love it, always have, it was going to be Abigail's name if she were a boy even though Vinnie's cousin's son was already born. He is 3 now, I believe. I mean, they live in Hawaii, you would think they aren't close but they kinda are, I mean we even hung out with them when we were on vacation, just made me love the name more. What to do what to do. I think I would regret it if I didn't name my boy Eli, but I also don't want him known as "the second Eli, or Eli #2 or Vinnie's Eli" My brother named his daughter Katherine and i guess he purposely spelled it differently to make sure I knew she wasn't named after me..anyway..She goes by Katy and everyone calls her baby Katy so people know they aren't referring to me. We never even see that sweet little girl and yet she comes up in convo alot. How long will she be known as baby Katy? She is like 6 now! I wouldn't mind baby Eli, but he can't be baby Eli forever. Do you think I could convince Vinnie? Do you think it would bother me?

I love it :)

Eli Christopher
Eli Benjamin

Coupon lady...me?

So, tonight Vinnie and I were watching extreme couponing on TLC and now we are convinced we should become coupon people. I mean we never use coupons ever. The last guy was a little overboard but the one lady just bought regular food at safeway which was about $600 and she paid about $3, 4 carts of food. It was awesome. So, I'm signing up for all these sites and I guess I need to get the Sunday paper and we will start with that, I know I won't be an expert right away but maybe after awhile I can be. I need a hobby so maybe this could be it?

On the names front, still clueless, really like Elizabeth Lillian and still not sure on Jack. I realize now that the only boy name I like that isn't connected to family is Eli. I really wish Vinnie's cousin didn't steal it :(

Possibly a girls' name?

So, last night, I got Vinnie to talk baby names! Yay my most favorite subject! Anyway, we semi-decided on Elizabeth Lillian. I'm still considering Lillian Elizabeth, or other middle names with Elizabeth, but right now, that's the name, I think :) Like I was saying, I like that Elizabeth offers a lot of room for different nicknames and I think it goes awesome with Abigail, same style of name. The name means, God's promise, or God is my oath (vow) which I like. I know as a kid and adult I like to look up the meaning to my name and if it meant disfigured or something I'd probably be a little upset. Katharine means pure, if any of you are curious. Vinnie loves the name Lillian, I also like it, like I was saying I am worried about being able to say it and not having super confidence in it as a first name, but I think it's great as a middle name. The whole name is kind of a mouthful, but I think that's fine, it's very feminine. Elizabeth Lillian, I think I can go for that.

On the boys front, still at a crossroads, no budge on Jack, not even a possible extension to Jackson which I'm not sure I love but I might :) I like that even though it's sort of popular now he would be unique in that he is named after Andrew Jackson. Hmm, with no budge from Vinnie I'm not sure what to do. I'll have to keep on thinking, something will come.

Names

So, Vinnie suggested the name Lillian yesterday. hmm, I like the nickname Lily, and I think the name would age well, not sure I can say the name good though if that makes any sense, sounds kinda weird when I say it. It's kinda a risky name too, good chance of hating it and a lot of other people hating it so if I don't love it I will always be nervous about it. It is cute though, I'm trying to get it to grow on me, trying to say it over and over, calling Abigail by Lillian, haha. I like the name Elizabeth, just not a fan of the Lizzy, Liz, Lizard Breath, or Beth. I had a little girl in my class with the name Elizabeth and everyone called her Lizzy but i kept calling her Elizabeth, probably embarrassing her, but that is what she put on her papers and I liked it :)She didn't seem to mind, poor girl, probably tortured her. I have several nicknames I would like to try out for Elizabeth. I like Ellie, Ella, Lilibeth :) and from that I get Lily..I know I stretch. Is it bad to have so many names? haha. I call Abigail keiki sometimes (Hawaiin for baby) yes it was her name before we went there. I also call her Abigirl, Aburger and my dad's favorite gail-abby.

Lillian Elizabeth?
Elizabeth Lillian? (I worry just in case of nicknames, Lily Lillian?

Well, that's my most recent name dilemma, any opinions out there?

On the boys front, Vinnie will not budge on Jack, not an inch, tried to throw Jackson into the ring, but I was vetoed. I still am not sure if I like Jackson, but I like having the option of a longer name.