Coffee and such...

So, tonight we had a coffee..yay. It was cool though, my new friend here picked me up and then we picked up another girl who she had just met. She is brand new to the Army thing, so she is refreshing, since I've been the newbie for so long. Anyway, she was really nice, looks like we might have a lot in common, so that's cool. She just got her degree in El Ed and is substitute teaching in Dupont and Steilacoom. She said it's really good and not bad at all, but I found myself really not interested in working for the first time in a long time. I think I am finally content being a stay at home mom, I am excited now to really start showing Abigail the world and teach her a lot of new things. I'm still working on the Montessori thing, I think it is helping. We went to the Hands on Childrens Museum the other day and Abigail really liked it, I might get a membership, it's like $75 for the whole year for all of us and we can apply the 25 we spent the other day towards membership, so I think that'd be fun to do.

Well, i'm pretty tired. Have a good night!

It's late

I'm going to bed but I have no one else to talk to but these are the names I'm loving today

Theodore Jack nn Teddy, Theo, TR

Caroline Elizabeth

Lillian something nn Lily

Comments? I know nothing much new just on my mind.

quick update

Sorry I haven't been updating lately. My dad is here for a visit! Yay! So we have been busy, stayed in Seattle a couple of nights, went to the Pike Place Market (again) ate there, then rode the ducks, which was very entertaining and fun, I recommend it. I've done duck rides in the Dells, but this was my first Seattle duck ride. My dad wanted to stay at this place called the Cedarbrooke Lodge (I think that was it) anyway, it's like rated one of the top hotels in the world. well, it was nice, but I wouldn't say it was anything special, they didn't even have a pool. I guess it's more for company retreats, but they didn't even have a pool. One plus was free all you can eat Hagen Dasz (can't spell) ice cream. Well, i'll try to update more later, baby is wanting me. byebye

Today

Today was going great, I got my nails done and my eyebrows done, Vinnie walked Abigail around the mall for awhile.

But tonight was terrible. Goodnight.

yep

Bad day

Home

So, I really think I want to be home. I just miss it so much. There are so many reasons, but I will only talk about a few right now. Everyone knows I am a homebody, I mean most people love their families, obviously, but I actually enjoy being around them all the time. That is why I went home during deployment. I was the child growing up who told her mom that she was going to live across the street when she grew up and now I am the ONLY one that doesn't live close to home, it's craziness. Yes, my brother was in the military for 14 years, so he was gone for quite awhile, my sister went to college and lived in California for a little while, but now they are all back home and I am so jealous. I want Abigail to know her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I miss my grandparents, I know I am running out of time with them, I hate being so far from home and them not getting to know Abigail and not having memories of Abigail with them. I miss having friends. Yes, I know a couple people here, are they friends? I don't know, would I call them if I needed something? Would they visit me in the hospital? Would they go see a movie with me, I don't know. They don't really know me and there just isn't enough time to get to know someone that you only see every once in awhile. I miss my friends at home, no I don't have a lot of friends, but I have a couple really great friends and I miss them. Do I hang out with them everyday? Nope, but I know if I needed them they'd be there in an instant, I miss that. A lot of people I know have or are having babies now so we could get together with or without the kids and we'd have something in common. I just want my own house. It's hard to feel like I'm home when this isn't really my home and I don't know where I'll be next. I know home is where the heart is and I love Vinnie and Abigail, but a large part of my heart is back home. I need my mom. I need her guidance and advice. All of her kids turned out awesome and I want to know how she did it! Also, I want to know my nieces, nephews, etc. My nieces don't even know who I am anymore and that sucks. They would never want to hang out with me because I am practically a stranger to them and I haven't even met my newest niece who was born in September. Well, that's my vent for now....

If we went home, I would get a job if I had to, no guarantee that I'd find one, but I'd do something, if I have to work at McDonald's I will. At least at home I have more references and more of a chance at finding something.

I don't know what Vinnie would do for work, I'm sure he could figure it out. He could get something temporarily while he's looking for something better, you know, don't wait out for the big kahuna, just take what you can get and then keep looking.

I know this won't happen, and if it does it won't happen for a long time, it's too scary to get out of the military and dive into the unknown, but we could make it work. We have the support of our families and could stay with them if we had to, we only have to be able to pay our non house related bills.

Ok, I really am done now.. byebye :)

Oh how sweet!

I think I have decided that I really LOVE the name Caroline Elizabeth and if Vinnie approves I couldn't imagine me changing my mind. I just listened to Sweet, Caroline like 4 times and I am so in love. Plus my mom loves Neil Diamond (side note).

Just thought I'd let ya know :)

I wish there were easy answers

This whole thing just drives me crazy. I know I don't want to work full time, at least not now while Abigail is little and I don't have to. But I know that I need something outside the house that is my own. A part-time job makes sense, but then I'd also have to put Abigail in daycare and I'd be committed (even if it's part time) and not be able to really work around the crazy Army schedule or visitors coming to town or trips home. What I'd really like to do is volunteer in a classroom, but I cannot justify putting Abigail in daycare a couple hours a day or week and not making any money to pay for it. I wish I were home sometimes, then I'd have grandma for those kind of things, I WOULD NEVER use my mom or Vinnie's mom as a permanent babysitter, but for a couple hours every now and then, I think that would be ok.
I get so stressed sometimes because sometimes it seems like we'll be in this army thing for 20 years and other times we are getting out tomorrow. I need to know what the plan is. If Vinnie gets out we should put off having a baby because we won't know what we'll be doing, I don't want to HAVE to work full time with a newborn.

But anyway, I need something, something to make me, me and some interaction and smart conversations with adults. I miss college so much. I could go back to school, but if I increase my education it actually lessens my chance of getting a teaching job, unless I were to go for a PHD and be a professor, which is what I ultimately want. One idea I had was studying up for taking the test to add Social Studies 6-12 to my license, but I'm not sure if I even qualify to do that yet, but that'd be something, I could even try adding some other things as well (math, science, special ed) that would make me more hireable in the future (even though my license expires in May, I can hopefully renew it another 2 years. I think I should look into that. Like I was saying earlier I'd also like to really get my portfolio nice and ready for the future. I'm thinking maybe next week I'm going to try to start leaving the house Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours after Vinnie gets home to work on some of these things for me.

Well, that's it tonight. Pretty tired. Nighty-night

Hello again

Just decided to chat to myself here. Ok so I really like the name Caroline, i don't think anyone else likes it. I also like the name Emmalin which not too many people like. I like the spelling Emmeline but that is not pronounced the way i like but it is an actual name, i guess you could say. I just feel kinda weird with a sort of "made up" name, but I sounds almost classic to me, but maybe it's just me. Emma is so popular right now though... I wonder what Vinnie thinks? I should probably ask even though he probably thinks I'm crazy.

I think Caroline Elizabeth or Emmalin Elizabeth sound great.

what do you think? Emmalin, Emmaline, Emmeline, Emmalyn, Emalyn, Emmalynn

It kinda worries me that there are so many spellings. That's what makes me lean toward Caroline, but then you have the pronunciation issue, but I don't mind either Caroline and Carolyn, and I would try to make her ok with either so it wouldn't bother her.


Boy names. I think i still love Theodore. Does it sound too snobby? Does Theodore Jack sound funny? I think i could deal with that. Ok, I guess I"m done being nuts...

Better update

So, I think Vinnie is trying to change posts, but does he tell me anything? Nope, I find out while he's on the phone with one of his old soldiers, but oh well, I'm not gonna start planning for life in GA quite yet. I love it here in Washington and if you could transplant my family here I would stay forever, but it's just too far from home for me. I just want the option of driving home one a weekend if I really wanted/needed to.

I guess I don't have much of an update besides I am trying to get involved in the FRG, maybe co-leader, the leader chick has it together so I don't think I'd really have to do much but it'd give me something to do. I suppose I could even put it on a resume if I really wanted to, try to make it relevant to whatever.

So, yeah, I guess I don't have much to update with. Oh I met some ladies at the park yesterday, it was nice talking to adults for once, so maybe doing a playgroup would be alright, but only if it's within walking distance to my house and I can leave whenever I want...maybe that's too much to ask. well, maybe I'll just have playdates with whoever is at the park. Alrighty.

Oh I got my Montessori book the other day and read it cover to cover in less than a day, it was really good, I recommend it. I don't agree with everything, but I like a lot of what they say.

Still thinking about names, but in a more relaxed way than before because we already have "names" in case I don't come up with something better, so it's much better now.

Girls
Emmaline Elizabeth?
Elizabeth Lillian?
Caroline Elizabeth?
Emmalin/Emmalyn Elizabeth?
hmmm

Boys
Theodore Jack
John Henry "Jack"
Drawing a blank...

Names again

So I know I need a real entry but I'm on my phone ready to go to bed so it's not gonna be tonight. Just can't get two names out of my mind.
One is Emmalin which I actually prefer spelling it that way since I hate Ys but anyway I love it. No one in mt family likes it. Vinnie loves it too but is it too made up? It doesn't sound made up to ne because it sounds like Evelyn. I could t name a child that while we are still in the army life bc I know I'd get rolled eyes from army wives. I love the nicknames Em and Emmy, I get so excited when I hear this name on Army Wives, seems likes it's very hated in the baby naming community for some reason, I guess it's considered a made up name, which I don't usually like, but this one I really like. Oh and another small problem is that I have a niece named Emily.

The second name is Caroline. I just love thus name for some reason. I mean I really do. If I went with Caroline Elizabeth it sounds a lot like my sisters name (Carrie Elizabeth ). I'm a little worried that there aren't any good nicknames for Caroline. I don't like Carol, but I suppose care-bear or linny would be ok with me.

I still love Elizabeth as a first name but I'm worried I'll end up calling her lizbeth or Liz just bc it comes natural with that name but I do t like it. I think I'd want to call her lilibeth even though I know it's weird.

Opinions?

Feeling crazy again.

I know I made the decision to stay home because it just hurt my brain to try to think about how in the world I'd ever get a teaching jump with zero experience in a place where I have no connections. I am pretty sure, if I were back home I would be teaching. I probably would have stayed home with Abigail for the first year or so, but I think I would be teaching. I know I enjoyed student teaching, but obviously I've never had my own class. I don't even know if I'd like it and I am sitting here and waiting for a day that may never come where I am teaching and maybe I will hate it. I know I will not make enough money teaching so Vinnie could stay home, unless we lived at my house (which can get a little nutty).

It's just to hard to try to plan for the future. I can't just go look for a job, it doesn't work like that. I wouldn't want to work in an unfamiliar area, I know that sounds like an excuse, but it's true. You know when they ask in an interview why you want to work in that district? I want to actually have an answer. I really want to work for Valpo Community Schools (where I student taught). I liked the school system there. Hobart is a little too nutty for me, but maybe I could make a difference there....doubt it. My sister works her booty off and gets no respect for it.

I want to work, I want to teach, just not here, I want to teach back home. Could I leave Abigail? That I'm not sure of. I know if a had a family member watching her I would have no issue at all, but I don't think I could ever use my family as a daycare, that's not their job. I don't know if I could just drop Abigail off somewhere, I really don't think I could. So, there's that. Maybe my sister can have a baby and I can take her job (even though it's in Hobart) and she can watch Abigail for me, or we could job share..... Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! This sucks.

Sometimes I just start crying and getting upset for no reason. I don't have a horrible life, but a lot of times I think it's not really for me, this whole SAHM, I'm trying really hard to be good at it, but I can't help feeling like it's a degrading job, constantly cleaning up after everyone, doing everyone's dirty work... I don't know. Well, enough whining, there are no jobs back home anyway even if I wanted to pursue it and I wouldn't know when Vinnie would be getting out, so it's worthless to even look into. It seems like the Army gets you in and then you are kinda stuck because you don't want to give up what you have and risk it out there in this economy.

Sigh,
Well, maybe I'll write more later.

I love it again...

so now I totally love the name Theodore again :) I hope it doesn't somehow get super duper popular since that is one reason I love it so much, it's not way out there crazy but still sort of uncommon. Well, I just thought I'd share that I love it again. I think if we do get to have a boy (my little Teddy) I'm going to deck everything out in Teddy Bears! haha I'm a geek like that. Ok, well, I'll stop bringing everyone into my baby fever. Everyone is having babies and pregnant right now! And all the shows and movies with babies..man oh man. It makes me really feel for baby loss mommies, daddies and those who have trouble or cannot get pregnant, when you really start to notice all the babiness everywhere wow, it's nuts, it must be constant heartache for them :(

Well, I guess, I'll go, I'm super bored, Abigail went to bed nicely, I guess bc she didn't nap and the hubs is gone, he may be back at midnight, so, I got nothin to do.

alrighty, byebye

Still not totally decided...

I know I shouldn't even think about names until there is another baby in our arms, but you all know I'm crazy, so I'm allowed to go nuts over it. I'm still super excited about the name Theodore, I worry about it a little, but I still really love it. I'm not really liking Theo and not a super huge fan of Theo and Theodore as an everyday name seems kinda uppity. I know even though I would think it was weird if someone else did it, that I would totally call him Teddy as a baby and probably a little guy. BUt, I wouldn't want him to have to grow up with that being his name, kinda weird for a teen and young man, but I suppose Teddy Roosevelt pulled it off right?

I think my problem is I am still not over the name Eli. I don't think I ever will be. I love love love that name so freakin much. But this little guy has the name and so I guess we can't have it. He is stinkin cute isn't he? This picture with the awesome name on his little apron makes me want the name so much more! Well, that's all I have to say...

Yep

Again, a very exciting title I know, but that's just how I'm feeling. Well, i was supposed to weigh myself today, but as the day went on I figured there was no point other than to be accountable to the internet world, but I think i ate worse this week than I have in a while.

Just kinda frustrated, but can't complain yet. It's only been a couple of months of trying for baby time, but I can't help but get nervous that it will never happen again. Ugh... well, here's to another month and with Vinnie being in the field it may not be a good one.

Anyway, ordered my book, and a xylophone (technically a glockenspiel) for Abigail today, so I'm excited about that. Haven't gotten much sleep this week but we all know it's my own fault.

Not sure what I'm gonna do tomorrow, I should do something super fun, or cool, but that won't happen I'm sure. Well, like I said, nothing interesting, so I suppose I'll go!

Made Dinner Again

I made dinner again tonight, nothing really picture worthy, but it was good

Apparently left over French Dip was the talk of lunch time in B Co, haha.

Nothing much else goin on. Super tired right now need to sleep. I need to get caught up on printing out pictures of Abigail. I haven't printed any since before Vinnie came home! I have so many to print! I need to do it, I like having real pictures around.

I also need to figure out this teeth thing. It just involved phone calls and so that makes me really not want to deal with it. I sent out an email, but heard nothing back, so I guess I just need to suck it up.

Umm, so moving forward with this Montessori type parenting. I am going to order that book tomorrow. I'd like to get two more shelves for Abigail downstairs and start working on a music/art center, complete her language/literacy center and create a math/sensory center. I think it will be great. I really need to keep working with her on practical life things as well, but she is still a little baby to me so it's hard for me to let her grow up and show her how to do things for herself, even though I get very proud when she does anything herself, I get a little sad that she isn't a baby anymore in many ways :(

Well, I am dead tired, but now that I've gotten out the computer I think I have doomed myself. Vinnie is going to the field and so not sure how much more I will see him this week/weekend/next week. Alrighty, time to go. Byebye

Oh, I guess I weigh in tomorrow, don't expect any weight loss, probably a gain!

French Dip and Sloppy Joe

Made French dip sandwiches tonight.

Ingredients

• 4 pounds rump roast (don't think I used 4lbs, just whatever you get at the store)
  
• 1 (10.5 ounce) can beef broth
• 1 (10.5 ounce) can condensed French onion soup
• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle beer
• French rolls
• 2 tablespoons minced garlic
• Provolone cheese
  

Directions

1. Trim excess fat from the rump roast, and place in a slow cooker. Add the beef broth, onion soup and beer. Cook on Low setting for 7 hours.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
3. Split French rolls, put cheese on rolls. Bake 10 minutes, or until heated through.
4. Slice the meat on the diagonal, and place on the rolls. Serve the sauce for dipping.

Last week I made Sloppy Joes, no Manwich here baby.

Ingredients:

• 1 lbs ground beef
• 1 can diced tomato in tomato juice (or one can tomato soup)
• 1/2 cup ketchup
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• You could also add some chopped onion, I used onion powder
• 2 buns
  

Directions:

1. Cook in crock pot 4-6 hours mix in all ingredients.